A purpose for everything

If you have read my friendster's friends' blog, I wrote that God has a purpose for everything. The things that you are going through, there is a purpose. No doubt about that. It is quite freaky when I today saw the purpose of this stint at NTU.

Let me trace back a bit. I was browsing the Internet to source for knowledge. To add on to my knowledge and supposedly become more 'mature'. That topic will be discussed next time when I feel more at peace. Anyway, I suddenly thought of a book which I want to find. Teaching Secondary School Mathematics. So I found n found. Then I realised that, "Hey, I am now in NTU. NIE is just few hundred metre away from me. Last time, I did not come is cause it is so far away. Go to NIE just to buy a book. Cannot be lah."

Anyway, I just went to NIE to buy that particular book. Then I browsed upon this book: Classroom management. Oh, I never thought that there is such a book on this topic. Come on, this is a skill to learn by experience. Learn through theory? Is there such theory? So I browsed through it. Wow, it is good. So I bought it, hoping that it will give me some skills to handle classrooms in the future.

Hmm... Will I be a teacher in the near future? That, I do not know. But I know that I am finally learning to see the big picture. I am walking step by step towards my goal.

10 seconds can change your life schedule

Usually such a title would bring about questions.

Are you in any accident? or in any close shaved incidents?

For me, nope.

I called Mindef just now and I realise that 10 seconds a failure in IPPT run will lead to a 16 hours loss of my schedule. I need to go for all my RT Phrase 1 lessons ( in total 8 lessons ). The 8th lesson, Mindef will have an IPPT test for us. If I pass this IPPT, then I don't need to carry on with the Phrase 2 RT. RT means remedial training.

Interesting rite? Last time, I ran at a timing of 9.40 min. Now I ran at a timing of 12.50 min. For 2.4 km run. This shows that without training, it is hard 2 maintain your performance.

So to all the students out there, especially my maths tuition students, practice in maths is essential !!!

230307

A slack day today @ work.

Though the colleagues told me to enjoy this free period of time, it is normal for the first few days. I feel sick. Nothing much to do. Getting rather sianz. It is not as if I can play games here or something.

They warned me that the workload will be exponentially higher. I was thinking to myself whether it can compare with the workload I have with Citibank. The first day, I have OT le. Stayed at 9 plus that day. Still can remember that wonderful day. I guess the workload here will be nothing much more than the workload there. But well, we don't know yet. See how bah...

I wonder whether I can sneak off somewhere 2 read my Bible or something. Hmm... Think better not lah...

Gotta go off le... Time to have another drink of mineral water!

220307

Few days have passed. And I have finally found a job. Though it is at a far far away land, where no animals will go, I still manage to clinch a job down there at NTU. It is a administrative job processing the applications of research grants. Many people tell me that my job very chiam leh.. Dont't understand. hee hee...

The job title is Administrator.
The job scope is more in administrative stuff.

Anyway, gonna go off 2 do my work le...

19-03-07

Today, I had an interview in the afternoon.
After today's interview, I was saddened. Usually tough questions are asked to see how the interviewees respond. But when I told her I cannot do the job from 9 am to 4 pm on saturday because I have church commitment, she commented that I should not have wasted her time. And I should have asked her what the job hours are at the start of the interview. Wah... First time, some employer said that.

Then later, I went to Saint Gabriel to pass Yuling her book. Never did I expect that the questions I asked once reinforced in my mind again. Where has my purpose gone? What is my original career path? It has never been my intent to go banking or accounting. Study accounts, yes. But venture into it, nope. Not my field. But I am put in this path. To walk on it. To still trust in Him. In spite of all, I still walk. Not run. But walk. You never know when God suddenly put a Word in you. God suddenly reminded me to run. Not walk. I got to run the race with endurance.

At night, I met up with Huiqi. If I am to compare with her, I would have denied my existence on earth. Since birth, she cannot walk. And the reason for vegetarian fasting is because of her. I really hope that in Benny Hinn's healing service, she would be healed. A miracle would arose. I really really do hope so. I really pray for that day to happen.

Reading a certain person's blog

I think that these one month, I am really stuck at my computer for a longer time than my other time periods.

Today, I read a certain person's blog. And I realise that the struggles this person faces is quite identical to mine. Just that this person has a luxury of going overseas for studies. Ha ha...

As I read his/her blog, this person struggles with loneliness, wisdom in speech and job hunting. Quite similar to what I am facing through. And I din expect it to be. Especially when I met this person twice or thrice only? This person's appearances don't seem to be struggling with that. And it is really woah...

Is God telling me that this person is placed in my life to let me see what God can do in his/her life? So trust in Him and carry on to walk this valley of struggles.

Hmm...

A call? or An advice?

This morning, a friend called. She called me to ask me about which verse Jesus fasted and go through temptations. I was not shocked but I was like thinking in my mind: " Can't you read the Bible yourself? " But well, there must be a reason to everything.

When I searched for the verse, I was reminded there on the spot about Jesus fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. Satan tempted Him but failed. Jesus later came with the power of the Holy Spirit, healing all who was sick and He did many amazing things.

I am now doing a vegetarian fasting. Although mine is not 40 days, but somehow I felt that I must endure to the end and the desires of this fasting will come to pass. I am very excited about it. I really do hope that the purpose of this fasting will surely surely come to pass.

She also told me one thing: Setbacks in life are certain. Life is fragile.

Not bad advice coming from her. I really do hope that she will come again to her own cell group.

Memories on keyboardmania

As I played some songs on keyboardmania 3, I realise what does it mean by moving forward but looking back to the past.

Memories is wat makes a person.

Things may look down at the moment, but things look up at the end.

If there are no bad events, will you take the good things in life for granted?

How is this related to arcade?

Each week of NS makes me sianz.

At that period of time, able to go out and play arcade or legend of the 5 rings perks me up.

And each time, it doesn't disappoint me.

It might be money consuming but the memories gotten from it can never be exchanged for something lesser.

Thank you to my two friends Marcus and Mingzheng in my NS days!

Exciting, Exciting, Exciting!!!

This past weekend has been exciting to me. I shall describe it starting from yesterday.

Pastor Sano, a pastor from Tokyo City Church came to our church. And I have the honour of bringing him around Singapore yesterday afternoon. Though my Japanese is not good, we communicated quite a while about his likes and interests in Singapore. We brought him around Chinatown, Clarke Quay and Little India. He loved his time here in Singapore. I hope that by the next time I see him, my Japanese would have improved and could speak to him more.

Starting from left: Elsie ( ex Jap tour-guide ), Me, Sano Sensei, Jiabin ( pioneer in Japan Mission Trip )

The day before yesterday is my birthday. Hee hee... I have a great time spending my birthday though I hope to have more activities after it. But well, I guess everyone is tired. Anyway, I chose 2 pictures out because :

In the above picture, this is our parent's CG. Do you feel that Vivian and I look compatible in this picture? In this picture k? There is no meaning behind this comment.

In this picture on the right, do I look like an Ah Beng asking " Who is the manager in charge of this place? " It feels so out of fit in this picture. I wonder who is the one secretly taking this picture using my camera.

Stoicism

Today, when I read about the article " Is the glass half empty or half full?" in Mind your body, I, for the first time, read about Stoicism.

It is a philosophy founded upon the teachings of Zeno of Citium.

Many interesting thoughts of philosophy:

"If you are distressed by any external thing, it is not this thing which disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now."

"First, decide who you would be. Then, do what you must do."

The reference which I got at the moment is this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism.

What will be my birthday wish?

What will be my birthday wish?

Honestly, I do not know. The wish that I have since the start of this year won't be fulfilled. There is a inner voice telling me that it is impossible that this wish will be fulfilled. To check whether it is from God or from the devil, I refer in the bible. The bible did not conflict with that voice. Does that mean it comes from God? or the devil in disguise? I really want to erase this wish from my database. Time and time again, I know that it is not time yet. But still, I wanted to fulfil this wish.

Second wish hmm... I don't know again. To find a job. A job which I liked? or a job to be secure? Many people know that I am out of job. Looking for a job. But not many knew that my self esteem dropped to a highly low this time. I am back to my original self, the old me. The one who has low self esteem. Very very low. Never did I expect that this agreement of Kelly Services and Citigroup Private Bank will be terminated. I learn not fast enough. I cannot cope with the pace of this luxurious bank. I scan slow. I learn slow. I check slow. I did the report slow. Slow, Slow, Slow. The voice telling me that I am useless. What abilities do I have? What can I contribute? Wat do I have in my hands?

No one will know how much struggle I have against the voice. I even woke up, rebuking the devil for taking all from me. I woke up, knowing that it is a dream. Or is it not a dream? What abilities do I have?

Guitar skills. Why must I know how to play? To help my cell group leader. But can I?
The more he mentions about his past of learning the guitar in 1 month, the more I feel guilty that I just cannot understand between the ups and downs of a strum. Is there such a big difference?

Japanese speaking skills. or even reading. or even writing. Those who do not know Japanese think that my Japanese is quite good. But to many accomplished Japanese speakers, my Japanese sucks. I want to help Naomi with her Japanese ministry. But each time I listened, each time I spoke, I seem to be in the wrong country speaking a wrong language. Or the calling to go into missions to Japan is not for me? It seems so wrong. Why is that so?

Teaching. Classroom management. I lacked in this area. When all the friends whom I have seen so far pursue their teaching dream, I can only stand and stare. This goes back to the blog: My potential lying next to me, but I can only stare at the circumstances.

Inability to think. I have always been asking myself. A Bata leather shoes that is worth 80 dollars plus. Is it not appropriate? Does the brand Bata mean that it cannot be worth so much? There are some other better brands that are more suitable for this price, that is what I am told. You should see this person's shoes. Nice but yet affordable. Also from Bata. The shoes I get, Hmm... What am I doing? Can't I even think?

This valley seems so long. How long do you want me to be in here, God?

If one day, I have a memory loss. I cannot even calculate. I do not know what I can do. Right now, what I have, is my mathematical analysis and interest. If this is taken from me, what will I do?

By then, I will have nothing. No talents. I will be like the man with 1 minna but kept it. In the end, this minna is also taken away from him.

What will be my birthday wish?

A wish which I will never know. Never never know. Never, never, never know.

A backdated Christmas present

Interesting hor, I actually received a

bear for my Christmas. Ha ha... Does
that mean I haven't outgrown my
youth? Hee...

Wow... I just researched a bit on teddy bears and I realised that the history goes back to
1834. A author called Robert Southey writes the story which we know today: Goldilocks and the Three Bears. And that is how we got our teddy bear. Hmm...