280907

Tonight is amazing. Most people got a touch from the Holy Spirit. Some even have the "Holy laughter". But I did not catch it. Zinch... I am quite disappointed. Nothing. How I wish and hope that God will touch me. But there is nothing. Y God? Din you say that seek and I shall find, knock and the door will be opened to me? But Y isn't there nothing? Or is God just something I place at my mouth?

After I have penned my thoughts in my hp, I read a passage from Corrie Ten Boom's "In my Father's House."

"After the meeting I needed to think, and so I started to walk through the heather by myself, trying to understand all I had heard, questioning my own relationship with God. 'Please, Mr. Sadhu, tell me what is wrong with me? I'm a child of God, I have received Jesus as my Saviour and I know that my sins are forgiven. I know that He is with me for He has said, "I am with you always 'till the end of the world." But what's wrong with me? I've never seen a vision or experienced a miracle.'

The Sadhu smiled at me. 'Sometimes people come to me to see a miracle. When they come now I'll send them to Corrie ten Boom. That I know Jesus is alive and with me is no miracle.. these eyes have seen Him. But you, who have never seen Him, know His presence. Isn't that a miracle of the Holy Spirit? Look in your Bible at what Jesus said to Thomas in John 20:29: "... Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.""

And the rest of the passage is more verses. This book I am reading now, it is interesting. Corrie Ten Boom, one of those whom Pastor has mentioned before, she is a strong woman. Met many in her lifetime. And now I am reading her past before she stepped out of her house. The things she faced... So similar to mine. The thoughts of low self-esteem same.

"Why aren't I am the same as my brother? He is a intellectual. Why did God not create me a intellectual?"
"My sister is talented in music. Why am I not so?"

I haven't finished everything. But it is indeed getting more and more interesting by the minute.

270907

It is an amazing night tonight.

We have first our general meeting. We talked about prayer conference, bible study, attendance, tithing and ministry. The Word is good all the time.

Later on we have our drama recorded on video live. It is funny. I am still waiting whether there will be a Youtube upload. It is very funny, especially Melvin's superb acting.

After everything, we had a mini heritage tour. Melvin, Eujean, Aaron and I went to old Hollywood theatre where dreams and visions are cast, tears are sowed and sweat poured onto the ground. Due to Melvin's narration, the whole place becomes alive. It is as if I have been transported back to the days of old.

I think that we got to have a heritage tour. and all the members will get to understand the things that we do and appreciate this church even more. :)

200907 part 3

Doubt I am going to Japan this year for missions. I thought that missions for Japan will be open. I think that if I go, it is quite strange as there won't be other members but only full time staff. Quite weird leh.. I must somehow brush up my Japanese. Need to think of a way... Sianz... And I have been "backsliding" in my Japanese too le...

200907 part 2

Today, met up with my cousin. She told me that she is with her friends at NUS Science Canteen. They are going to have dinner before proceeding to have lectures until 10 pm. So I went to find her. It is a wrong move. When I went there, I felt out of place. All are honours students. What am I? A pass degree. To say that I still suffer from low self esteem is not far away from the truth. Sigh! A confident person can be seen from his actions and words. For me, I doubt I am still very unperfected.

200907 part 1

Yongping's last cgm pictures have been uploaded on this website :

http://community.webshots.com/user/pc2004_pic1

Do check it out!

190907

Few days ago, I had a talk with a friend. She was relating to me that that day she went to her ex bf place to retrieve the presents which she had given to her ex bf before they broke up. When I heard that, I was quite shocked. How could someone take back what he or she has given?

The reasons she gave:
1) He is unworthy of the presents she gave.
2) She wants to give some space in his room to put his gf's stuff.
3) She doesn't want her ex bf to think about her anymore.

Do you think it is valid?

To me, it is not valid and not right at all. In fact, I know that she will be reading this post. I do think that this is rude. way rude. That is what I think of it. Initially.

Few days later, I watched a cartoon. There is this guy called san mao. He is a very very poor guy. His friend is going off to another country. So this guy san mao gave his friend a book. When the friend looked at it, he thinks that this book is useless to him. He THREW it away to the open sea. I was shocked and surprised not only by the action that he did but also san mao's reaction. He seems to be quite calm about it. I was like thinking to myself: What the? San mao should have stopped him or wat lah. Throw away? His hard earned money sia... I really do think that he saved quite a bit to give this book to him.

And when I think about what I told my friend, am I not a contradiction? I shouldn't have minded it so much.

Today, I chatted with this friend again. What is successful in life? Being able to be financially independent. Still able to get along quite well in life without the need to work. Is that successful? As I thought along this line, if it is in the expense of family, friends, I don't think it is successful. I have a tuition student. His mother is rich. Owned a chain of stores. A CHAIN of stores. I was like woah... I din know that you are that rich. But anyway, husband and wife are separated. Relationship between children and mother not that fantastic. Her health deterioriates a lot. So is that successful? Hmm... gotta think twice about this word " successful ".

Until now, I still cannot believe that I have a tuition student who is top 20 in playing Command and Conquer. And he is the top second person in Singapore. Woah... No wonder he doesn't do my mathematics homework. Hmm...

080907

Yesterday is my last day at work. So many people are puzzled why I resigned. Of course the primary reason is I wanna give more of my time to my tuition students. I doubt my students would understand this sacrifice I am making but nevertheless I have already done it. The secondary reason is this job really is not suitable for me. No matter how hard I try in liking, I still don't like it.

Some pictures which I took on my last day. I think I will miss my supervisor accountant. Cheok Ying Ying. She sometimes really reminds me of my cell group member Gan Ying Ying.

040907

Yesterday heard from Yes 9.3.3 FM about this personality test.

It tests you on what you cannot do without in your life.

"You are a scientist who wants to develop a genetically transformed fruit. What do you want to develop?"

"A mini mandarin orange?"

"A plump juicy lychee?

"A cute strawberry?"

Make a choice NOW!
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If you choose mini mandarin orange, that means that you cannot do without money.

If you choose plump, juicy lychee, you cannot do without romantic love.

If you choose cute strawberry, that shows that you cannot do without friends.

What is your choice? Mine is cute strawberry.

But anyway, whatever your choice is, this is just a personality test. It is for fun sake. :)