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I knelt down. I can't believe the reality. I can't believe I can't find a job. Is my job so hard to find? Are my requirements so hard to meet?

And it struck. The time at the lift. Only I. Only I can remember.

You have been by my side. Either I am doing 'funny' things or working for your glory.

You have not gone. Just that I did not feel you. I did not get to touch you. I did not get to see you. Because...

I did not pray.
I did not read.
I did not seek.
I did not knock.

I am tempted again and again to leave. To leave, yes I did consider.

When Jacqueline retorted back my statement "Taking a break is because to wanna walk further", Why then did you not take a break?

Did I not think? I am no cgl. But yes, I did consider.
I am worthless here.
It is so hard. So hard to serve.
That is what pastor says.

"It is not that their love for Christ has diminished, but they find serving God hard"

Temptations. I read in a person's blog about temptations.
Temptations come to us most often when our needs are unmet. Perhaps we can deal with being different, or even have the courage to stand alone but can you deal with loneliness? Most singles falter when faced with the depression that comes from the pain of loneliness. When lonely and single. we are hungry for fellowship. When you are hungry, you are more tempted to eat then when you are full. The need not to be alone is legitmate but how we handle that need is important.

Amazing... How do I deal with it?
But yet again, why do I think? I don't need to think.
Someone has alreadi overcome it.
How did HE overcome it?

Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."

It is written, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."

and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘ He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘ In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”

It is written, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'"

And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

Jesus prayed for the disciples to see. And yet, we can see that temptations are common.
And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Our flesh is indeed the agent of all temptations. That is why we need to crucify the flesh.
Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

So when we are against temptation, receive the Word and internalise the Word in your heart and show it in your lifestyle. Do not be those who hear but not act.
But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away.

Self control is indeed very important to us. One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Pray for it constantly.
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Indeed this verse helps me and let's see the rewards for overcoming temptations.

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

So, in the end, watch how He overcomes it, pray for His guidance, medidate on His Word, internalise it and act it out.