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Asked her out. But rejected. Actually, I think she might know something le. But then she and I really don't have any connections at all. We don't talk on the phone but always msn each other. Few weeks le. Knowing her more. But realise that the distance between her and me can never get close.

I cried once more. Hurt not because I was broken by the grace of God. But broken by the circumstances that I am facing.

If I am to like someone, what are the chances of her liking me?

Almost equivalent to zero percent.

It is sad, but it is true.

She might not even know this. In the midst of talking to her on msn, I was writing this.

But I don't blame anyone lah.

If I start from appearances, I am thin. Real thin. I saw myself on this video of me preaching. Oh no, it is so horrible. I thought I am seeing a walking stick camel. My hunchback is so obvious. No wonder, for the first impression, girls don't really be attracted to me la... Cause I am so so so not pleasing to the eye.

If I start from communications, I don't talk a lot. I listen. But I don't talk. I realise that I am similar to Pastor on this fact. I will talk a lot when I have to. Tuition, birthday celebrations or motivating people. Or else I will just shut up. Cause I don't have any intelligient topics 2 talk about..

If I start from character, God knows how bad I am in the inside. I might appear ok on the outside but I am still bad. Sometimes I wonder whether I am a good testimony.

In the session, I was asked to write few names. There is this name I want to write. But I don't dare to. Why would I want to write? I have been rejected. Do I want to be rejected again?

Alex, have you noticed that I have never been a real success in relationships?

I have never been and I might never have been.